Been a long time...

Published by Melanie under on 9:20 AM
Geesh! I can't believe it's been almost a month since I last posted. Ok, more like a few weeks, but still!

I forewarn you...this post is pretty try to keep up. I have a lot to say...and not all of it flows from one topic to the next.

I've been doing OK with my eating...I actually think (with the exception of this morning) more than just OK. My average day looks something like this:

Breakfast: cup of coffee with skim, splenda, and 2 TBSP of FF creamer (usually Carmel vanilla...YUM) and a Dannon Fusion Smoothie.

Lunch: 1 can of Progresso Soup, water or a Coke Zero, and a Cutie orange

Snack: 1 cutie orange & a string cheese

Dinner: varies every day, but always low cal.

Snack: Banana of yogurt

I average about 1300 calories a day, according to and am burning about 1800, so the question remains....WHY AREN'T I LOOSING WEIGHT?

I am still working out as usual, Boot Camp on Mon, Tues & Thurs, biking every other day. My poor elliptical has started to become a coat hanger since the weather is so nice! Who wants to exercise inside when the outside is so much nicer?

To be quite honest, I have been slipping on my will power. Saturday Jadyn didn't want to take a nap. Despite staying in her room for over an hour & a half, she couldn't fall asleep. After checking on her for the umpteenth time, and realizing that her inability to fall asleep had caused her room to vomit every toy from every bin, I decided to take her outside to play. When we came in, it was dinner time. After dinner, she sat on the couch, instantly curling up and closing her eyes. Knowing that if I let her close her peepers too soon I would regret it at 4 AM, I energetically asked her if she would like to help me make a cake. She took a minute to convince herself that baking was much more fun than sleeping, but in the end, her sweet tooth won so we baked a cake.

I am ashamed to say I had 3 pieces of that cake...and I felt physically sick (and guilty) after every piece. So, why then, did I eat more?

Lack of Will Power.

Last night we had homemade lasagna. I made it with wheat noodles (no one even noticed), ricotta made with part skim, low fat mozzarella, egg whites, and garden vegetable sauce. It was as healthy as lasagna could be...except I also made some YUMMY YUMMY garlic bread, which wasn't spared any fat, carb or calorie. I had 1 piece of the lasagna and 2 slices (top & bottom) of garlic bread. I was uncomfortable stuffed after we ate, and since I never have REAL dairy anymore...I'm not feeling so hot today...Why do I do this to myself?

Lack of Will Power.

This morning I was all out of my usual breakfast, so I decided I would just skip breakfast. I know, I know...breakfast is the most important meal of the day so I shouldn't skip it. Fear not, I did end up eating breakfast. Elmo came into my office to tell me that he was going to McDonald's to get breakfast and asked if I wanted anything. I tried to say no...I really did...but visions of hot egg mcmuffins, hash browns, and breakfast burritos sent all traces of will power out the window, and I placed my order.

Now...2 breakfast burritos, 1 hash brown, and small orange juice later...I hate myself. Why?

Lack of Will Power.

Remember I said a while ago that I bought a new pair of shoes that had miraculously alleviated all traces of prior shin splints and foot pain? The same is no longer true. Ever since the 1/2 Marathon, my lower half hasn't been the same. I don't know if I've already worn the shoes out or if I really hurt something as I pushed another 6 miles out through excruciating pain. Since the shoes are only a month or so old, I'm assuming the latter to be true.



Mom said... @ March 9, 2009 at 7:32 AM

Oh Mel....don't be too hard on yourself. I can only imagine how hard it must be to be doing all the right things and to not be losing weight. It's my guess that you are building muscle, and remember that muscle is heavy. You just need to step back, take a breath, and get back on the wagon; so to speak. Just remember that every time you cheat, it's that much easier to do it the next time. Don't you dare give've come too far!!!!! Besides which, you'll hate yourself for allowing your weakness to win. As far as your shin splints go, I think it's time you get yourelf to a dr. just to make sure you're not hurt.
Everyone has moments of weakness; I still love you and I'm still proud of you.

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